yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
