Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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