No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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