you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
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