so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
