After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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