i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
