He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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