The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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