Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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