i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
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