I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think my mom watched the whole time
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
