I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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