I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
