My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
