Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize