where does the pee come out of this thing
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
