i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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