I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
