I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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