12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
