he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
