i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize