No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
