we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
