I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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