we have officially lost it.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
