Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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