i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Randomize
