these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
