We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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