just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
