Hey man sorry I got all grabby
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
