woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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