i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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