Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
