whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize
