dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
