i jhust puked up my retainher.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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