Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
