ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
