I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
