Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
