i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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