I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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