i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize