I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
