Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
