hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
