Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
