Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
