What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
