I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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