yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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