so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
