OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Barsexuality is the new black.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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