Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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