dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
