if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize