He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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