Texts From Last Night

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  (243): View more from

  the bitch is dead man

  (1-243): View more from

  YOUR DOG DIED?

  (243): View more from

  no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.

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  (243): the bitch is dead man (1-243): YOUR DOG DIED? (243): no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon. http://tfl.nu/0e8d
  Replies (3) Good night (1324) Bad night (579)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?

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  (678): My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family? http://tfl.nu/vek9
  Replies (72) Good night (1876) Bad night (7917)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.

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  (317): for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7. http://tfl.nu/34yz
  Replies (13) Good night (658) Bad night (3264)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face

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  (207): reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face http://tfl.nu/zdhw
  Replies (52) Good night (8660) Bad night (1273)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good

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  (217): just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good http://tfl.nu/mlgi
  Replies (6) Good night (4619) Bad night (884)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?

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  (+44): let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions? http://tfl.nu/wlcv
  Replies (6) Good night (1492) Bad night (638)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT

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  (406): Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT http://tfl.nu/rebq
  Replies (7) Good night (1001) Bad night (486)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS

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  (512): BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS http://tfl.nu/z5cf
  Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (910)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?

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  (253): How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head? http://tfl.nu/0ahi
  Replies (6) Good night (752) Bad night (541)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!

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  (612): He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants! http://tfl.nu/fscl
  Replies (7) Good night (608) Bad night (316)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO

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  (214): WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO http://tfl.nu/p2cw
  Replies (5) Good night (691) Bad night (189)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?

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  (313): Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise? http://tfl.nu/m7ic
  Replies (3) Good night (244) Bad night (463)
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  (650): View more from California

  So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.

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  (650): So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer. http://tfl.nu/8gu5
  Replies (5) Good night (577) Bad night (272)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?

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  (573): It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night? http://tfl.nu/nbyh
  Replies (1) Good night (407) Bad night (536)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.

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  (512): But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation. http://tfl.nu/31qq
  Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (191)

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