Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this