I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes