Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.