I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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