When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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