Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
