So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
