State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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