before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
