So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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