At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
